


Heart Eater

by Arachnophobia



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fablehaven AU: blixes, Humor, M/M, am i kicked out of the fandom as yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:24:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2525540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arachnophobia/pseuds/Arachnophobia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>“But if I’m a vampire, and you’re a vampire, then who’s flying the plane?” </strong>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart Eater

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write something short and funny, and I did at first but then I figured what's a story without slight porn, so then it was kinda PWPish but then i figured why not add in some plot so then it was P(orn)W(ith)S(light)Plot. but then I went too far and it was too late to stop. 
> 
> Like anything I ever write this isnt beta'd so pls excuse any mistakes thanks.

“Hey, Kise,” Aomine calls out from his unstable seat on the branch of the willow tree and leaning perilously close to the edge he asks, “Now that we’re, like, vampires do you think if we cut off our dicks it’ll grow back?”

 “Hmm,” Kise muses, stroking his chin with the wisdom of a bearded scholar, “I’ve read vampire books where their wounds heal really quickly but nothing ever grew back. We should try a finger first. Just to be sure.”

“True. True. Better safe than sorry.”

\------

“And just what made you think it would grow back?!” Midorima exclaims upon hearing their explanation as to why both of their ring fingers are missing. The disbelief and shock that settles onto his face makes him look like a mother who just caught her fourteen year old son watching gay porn.  

Aomine stares at his bandaged hand and shrugs.

Kise, on the other hand, has the decency to look ashamed of himself and offers up a guilty smile, “We thought since we’re…you know, vampires and stuff it would grow back...”

They both shamefully look at the floor and maybe if they stare hard enough, it’ll write a strongly worded apology letter for them, expressing their regret for wanting to cut off their dicks and consequentially causing Midorima so much trouble. 

“And just where did you get that absurd idea?” Kise silently realizes that if Midorima could get away with it--and he can--he would hang them both with his stethoscope. 

“W-Well, you know, from movies and books and stuff like that…”

“Get out of my hospital, the both of you.” Midorima rebukes, their bullshit finally driving him to the point of no return, he pushes up his glasses and points towards the door, “Now.”

\-----------

“God, I’m starving. Let’s go get burgers.” Aomine wraps his arms around Kise’s waist, leaning into him and nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“Vampires don’t eat burgers idiot!” Kise exclaims with some sort of disbelief darting through his eyes, as though if Aomine has just said something very, very foolish because of course, everyone knows that vampires absolutely do **_not_** eat burgers. 

They’re obviously vegetarians and they eat fries thank you very much.

“They drink blood! And eat raw cow meat!” Kise’s eyes light up with childlike joy like Akashi’s does when he sees someone doing something incredibly stupid.

At this, Aomine raises a skeptical eyebrow. His knowledge on vampirism is either exceptionally lacking—if so he must, without question, watch the latest Twilight movie to properly re-educate himself on proper vampire etiquette—or it’s Kise who should brush up on his vampirism.

He’s never heard of vampires eating cow meat, especially _raw_ cow meat but if he stands corrected; why cow meat? Why not sheep meat? Why are vampires so picky?

“I dunno about you but I’m not drinking any blood or eating any raw cow meat. Cooked? Sure. Raw? No.” Aomine refuses to listen to Kise, not again, the missing finger on his right hand will be a constant reminder that he is not to be trusted.

“Oh come on Aominecchi, I have a pint in the fridge. _Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little blood_.” 

“Where did you get a pint of blood from?”

“Don’t change the topic.”

Aomine doesn’t call it changing the topic, he calls it where the _fuck did you get a pint of blood from_ but Kise’s already gotten it out of the fridge and he’s pouring it into two overly sized wine glasses.

“Here, drink. Just a sip.” He holds out a wine glass to Aomine like a child giving its mother a horrible drawing they’ve worked so hardly on over the duration of snack time, innocent eyes expecting a ‘Good Job’ and a kiss on the cheek.

Aomine swallows down his skepticism just like he swallows down a mouthful of blood and it’s the biggest mistake of his life. Trusting Kise is the biggest mistake of his life. He’s brought dishonor upon himself, dishonor upon his family, dishonor upon his _cow_.   

“What the hell! This tastes like shit!” Aomine shouts as he rushes over to the sink to rid his taste buds of the offending flavor of rusting iron. 

“It’s the price we must pay, Aominecchi.” Kise says with a morose expression settled onto his face and all Aomine can think about is the fact that he’s dating a fucking sociopath.

\-----

Trailing a wet path up Kise’s back, Aomine notices that there are eight weird marks marring his skin. He runs his tongue over it, and maybe if he sucks hard enough they’ll disappear because there’s something in his stomach that doesn’t sit well with it.

“ _Daiki_.” Kise moans, pushing himself back onto Aomine’s hand, as if he wants even more in him and that’s crazy because he already has in four fingers.

Aomine licks his lips as he watches his cock stretch Kise, and because he’s still begging, ‘ _Ah, more, more_ ,’ he decides to add in a finger or two to the mix, stretching him even further, testing his limits.

But because Kise is Kise, he pants, “Hurry up, ah—hurry—” and because Aomine is Aomine, he encircles the base of Kise’s cock with his fingers when the blonde is just about to come and shoots him a wicked grin.

Kise tries to thrust up into his had but finds no gratification in his teasing touch and his moan dies off into a low whine. The blush dusting his face darkens considerably when Aomine leans down to whisper in his ear, his voice breathy and downright criminally lewd, “ _Beg._ ”     

\------

“Tetsuya.” Akashi’s voice is low and deadly, barely above a whisper but it echoes in the silence of the mansion.  

“Seijūrō.” Kuroko maintains Akashi’s sharp eye contact while pouring a next spoonful of coffee into his cup.

“It’s unhealthy Tetsuya.” He reprimands firmly, like he’s chastising a child for having too much candy at a late hour in the night.  

“And what if it is? I’d like to remind you that I am both a grown adult and immortal. I can do whatever I like,” Is Kuroko’s response to his recrimination.  

“Hmph. Just because you are immortal doesn’t mean you can’t fall ill. When you get sick I worry about you and then the both of us end up suffering.” Akashi’s eyes soften before he rests his hands over Kuroko’s, “So put down the coffee, just for today, huh?”

A blush spreads over Kuroko’s face faster than a teenager denies watching porn and he breaks eye contact because the floor demands his undivided attention.

“You’re an idiot.” He mumbles under his breath, the floor still holding his attention in all of its immaculate glory.

“Yes,” Akashi agrees but smug satisfaction practically drips from his mouth as he says, “But I’m _your_ idiot.”

\------

This time, Aomine makes sure to actually call Akashi before he comes over and uses the front door instead of a window. The last time he came in without warning he was very rudely greeted by a moaning Kuroko erotically bouncing up and down Akashi’s lap and he’d like very much not to see that again, thank you.  

“Hmm, I see.” Akashi murmurs and unlike Kise, he doesn’t need to stroke his chin to give off the air of a bearded scholar.

The air surrounding Akashi has been always unnatural to begin with, from the way his ears are a little too abnormally pointed to the bloodied red eyes that look as if their always peevishly scrutinizing something . 

“Kise-kun was always very senseless, after all.” Aomine almost falls off his seat with a startled yelp when Kuroko speaks up. Somebody desperately needs to put a bell on the kid lest he gives someone a heart attack, Aomine thinks.

“Well said Tetsuya.” Akashi tries to hide a snort and Kuroko smiles along with him and the two of them are so disgustingly cute together Aomine wants to barf.

He’d rather drink Kise’s nauseating, stolen B+ blood than be drowned in the repulsive adorableness of it all.

“Hmn,” Akashi clears his throat but he’s still slightly smiling and Kuroko’s still smiling and it’s like Aomine’s not even there anymore. 

\--But his mind is permanently marred like a fourteen year old walking in on his parents doing a horizontal hula-hoop dance and it just adds to the repulsion.  

“Well, taking into account the fact that I am not a vampire, nor is Tetsuya and only I have bitten you once, you can rest assured that you _are not a vampire_.”

“But didn’t you say you were some weird sort of vampire thing?”

“Akashi-kun is a Narctoblix. A type of blix that stays alive by sucking the youth from their hosts but since he’s both part Narcoblix and part Lectoblix, he can also bite people in their sleep and control them while they’re sleeping.”  Kuroko offers and Aomine takes note how he replaces the word ‘victims’ with ‘hosts’.

“Indeed, and Tetsuya here is a Vilctoblix. Like me, he’s capable of immortality but because he’s part Viviblix part Lectoblix , through a bite he’s able to temporarily control and reanimate the dead. Much like you, Aomine.”

“Me?” Aomine raises an incredulous eye brow and points to himself like a 7th grader who just got called on by the teacher to read his half-finished essay entitled ‘My Summer Vacation’ out loud.

“Aomine-kun is a pureblooded Viviblix. However, purebloods tend to be a lot weaker than Hybrids like Akashi-kun and I, so please don’t go around whimsically reanimating dead people, you’re already very weak to the point where you’re forgetting things.”

“Weak? Me? I hardly think so. Hmph.” 

Aomine also thinks that it’s weird how Akashi shoots Kuroko a furtive glance, as if they’re hiding something from him, and their smiles are gone as quickly as they came. The expression that settles onto Akashi’s face is almost as hard to read as Kuroko’s, with his lip set into a thin line of distain and he watches Aomine from under lowered crimson eye lashes.

“Tetsuya’s right,” There’s a chastising lilt to Akashi’s voice but for the first time in his life, Aomine sees something akin to pity surfacing in his eyes, “The longer you reanimate the dead the greater the exertion on your body. Lately your memory has been lapsing, so I bit you to see if I could help fix the problem. But it seems not to have worked out very well.”

“What do you mean it didn’t work out very well? How long have I been reanimating the dead for? And who have I been reanimating? And what did I forget?” The weight of his words is heavy as they leave his mouth and they crush him like he crushes candy on his phone.

“About a year, it’s nothing serious, and we don’t know who it is but you’ll remember soon enough Aomine-kun. Nothing to worry about.”  Kuroko gives him a reassuring smile but he looks as if he’s about to cry.

Kuroko should leave the lying to Akashi, Aomine thinks to himself.

\----

“You need to polish up on your lying Tetsuya.” Akashi laps at the abrasion on his neck before sucking down on another pale strip of flesh, making sure to leave a mark anywhere and everywhere he’s able to get his hands on.

“ _Ah_ …This is the eighth time we’ve had to tell him,” Kuroko lets out a wet gasp as Akashi pinches a nipple before rolling the rosy bud between his thumb and index finger, “I can’t see him suffer like that again, ngh.”

“How considerate of you.” Akashi whispers into his ear, hot and wet before pinning him down on the couch, his knee slowly rubbing Kuroko’s erection.

“You know, Tetsuya, you’ve been awfully _naughty_ ,” He licks his earlobe, his words scorching his skin, “Lying to Daiki like that. Soon he’ll begin to have dreams about Ryōta dying in that car crash and his memories will drown him like strong river currents.”

Kuroko’s toes curl into the cushions and his hand pulls at Akashi’s hair, “And then we’ll have to go through the same thing a ninth time. But by then Ryōta’s body will begin to decompose and Daiki will crumble in on himself.”

“ _Ah_ , _ngh_ , you speak as if you’re not lying to him as well. I see that you’ve made sure to tell Midorima-kun not to tell them the truth about their fingers growing _back—”_ Kuroko’s voice breaks off into a loud moan as Akashi bites down on a nipple.

“Getting of the pain Tetsuya? How lewd.” He can hear the smug gratification saturating Akashi’s voice but before he can respond with something vaguely witty he brings two fingers to his lips and Kuroko readily opens his mouth to suck on them, “But I guess, ignorance is bliss, huh.”

\------

“Aominecchi! Where are you going?” Kise rushes out of the kitchen just in time to catch Aomine with a black trench coat, shades and fingerless gloves on looking as if he’s planning on robbing a house.  

“Ah, oh, I’m just gonna get some stuff at the pharmacy, I’ll be right back.” Aomine lies, planting a firm kiss on Kise’s cheek before heading out.

“Be safe.” Kise wants to say, but he can’t find the strength or the words to say it because he knows that Aomine knows. So when Aomine’s gone he slumps against the door, caressing the eight bite marks on his shoulder and breaks down into tears, because life is unfair and unforgiving and all he can do in situations like this is cry his bleeding heart out.

-

The wind whips cold and it tears through Aomine’s flesh and cuts his bones. The sky is heavy and it’s threatening to burst at its seams, going against the weather man’s prediction of clear, sunny skies.

Aomine walks to the very back of the burial ground, atop a small hill covered with fruitful trees and flower bushes, a place Akashi has bought just for his family, until he comes to a dug up grave with a headstone reading Kise Ryōta.

And his memories begin to drown him like strong river currents.

**Author's Note:**

> this is why i can't have nice things.


End file.
